Running doesn't kill, heat does

This is my first TNT mentor Leslie Jones and her sister Tara. Leslie and coach Ken are by far the biggest reasons I stuck w/ TNT and running. Leslie and her sister Tara were so supportive and so fun--they always came to group runs in Royal Oak, offered to drive me to Kensington w/ them (but I discovered Stoney and loved it), led awesome fundraisers and just listened to all my running stories (and passed many of them on). Well, this picture (despite our grins) represents a sad moment: Leslie and her family are moving the Minnesota and this was her going way party at Bastones and Cinq. I will miss her so much but because of her, even though she is leaving, she helped me build a strong enough foundation that I will keep running and raising money despite what kind of mentor I may have without her.

Tara is our Royal Oak hero-- she defeated a blood cancer that impacted the development of her bones and still gives her pain. Despite this, she also ran with our team and definitely outran me!! She did this in all kinds of weather, terrain, and pain in her legs. She did not "take precautions" because of her smaller bone structure (she told me once that because of her cancer her bones stayed at the development of a 13-year-old while the rest of her continued to develop). Tara ran faster, longer, and more often as race day approached and finished the Bayshore full marathon putting her all in.

Well, a lot of people are saying that Chad Schieber of Midland, Michigan, who died last Saturday at the Chicago marathon, was stupid, that he should have stopped before he died, that he knew he had a heart problem and should have taken precautions.
Guess what his "heart problem" was? His big heart problem was a mitro-valve prolapse-- so saying that his heart problem should have made him slow down in the heat or stop is like saying my hang nails should force me to stop typing or at least slow down.

Many people have this and many of them run very fast marathons because it is a minor heart irregularity. I have a PFO (I forget what the acronym stands for--so I just call it my heart UFO). This PFO was a congenital irregularity with my heart and according to my heart doctor nearly %20 of the population has this, but most, like me, don't know it until they have a stroke or other symptom of a problem. As babies, the walls of our hearts are not sealed so that, before the heart's muscle gets stronger, blood can pass easily between the left and right ventricles. By the time we are toddlers, that wall is erected, sealed, and strong. Well, with the UFO condition, that wall never gets sealed up all the way--so there is a "communication" between the left and right side that allows blood (and tiny blood clots) to get through. I have been running in all weather with this and I am still alive, sore in different parts of my body each week, but still alive.

What does it mean that someone who has a "heart problem" should take precautions? Should they run slower than they can? Less often than they'd like? Take more breaks than they need? I don't think so. Running to the best of your ability is what makes running such a joy--anyone who trained for a marathon would certainly not have held back in training nor the big day because of a minor heart irregularity.

I think it is heartless to blame this man for his death and ignorant to blame running itself as so many couch potato doctors do. How many massage therapists and doctors have asked: "Have you ever considered just NOT running" when I go to get advice on my clicking knees, pulled hip flexor, sprained ankle, low back pain. Um, nope, I haven't and I won't. All kinds of people think runners are asking for injury. Well, yes, we are, so is everyone who does any form of exercise. It is the paradox of life that to build something new you must tear the original down. Our muscles get stronger because we tear them when we lift and our bodies say, "Oh yeah?? Well try tearing THIS down!" and builds a bigger bicep--or, in the runners case, trunk solid legs. Same goes for the heart and lungs of a runner--"oh yeah? you going to push me that hard? you going to make me pump that fast, heave that heavy? Well, try pushing this!!" and our hearts and lungs improve. So we get more pulled muscles-- we also get stronger muscles and stronger hearts. That is what this man did for his heart--he made it stronger by running. Not a stupid idea at all. So what killed him?

Heat and humidity.

Many people who run long distances have difficulty knowing when they are in danger-for a number of reasons:
Reason one:
after some miles, your body greatly increases dopamine in anticipation for the usual pain when running and then further increases it in peaks and valleys as the run continues. This is often helpful because it allows you to keep running, to keep feeling good, and to stay positive. You only notice how much pain you are in when you walk or finish the race--that's why some marathoners (I saw this at Bayshore) literally have their legs stiffen the minute they cross the finish line. One of my TNT contacts, Patrick Strait, ran all out for the Bayshore marathon, felt really good approaching the finish line, gave one last surge, and then fell and was forced to crawl to the finish line and put his foot on the mat so his time could be counted. In his mind, the few feet before the finish line meant victory, meant race done and so his legs locked and he fell. He felt no pain in his legs for the 26 miles before that.

Reason two: Trainers/coaches/and your own self repeat this mantra: "it's not about physical but mental toughness" (The first time my coach said this, I got deja-vu, then I remembered that my brother said the same thing to Rachel, my sister-in-law, on their honeymoon hike through the Smokey mts; I don't think it went over so well in that situation). Anyhow, you are trained to talk yourself out of the pain, to dissociate and think about something happy, to imagine the finish line--anything to avoid focusing on the pain. Any seasoned runner would have this strategy down so pat they might not even be aware they are doing it, esp. at such a critical moment.

Reason three: Heat related injuries are very, very similar to your run of the mill I wish I were dead exhaustion past a runner's "red line"--the farthest point they can go until they've used up all their glycogen stores and begin to feel like two elephants moved in and are sitting on their lungs and legs. Almost always, simply slowing your pace and getting to the next water/gel not only stops this pain but makes you feel even more energized. Heat related injuries cause edema before more serious coma and death from the imbalance of water to electrolytes. Edema (swelling hands, legs, feet) is also a common symptom of simply running long distance w/out enough salt in your body (again the next Gatorade or gel stop alleviates this).

Reason four: It was frickin 88 degrees and more humid than a sauna (See post below. I ran in the fricken soupy hot air Saturday and Sunday) and was OCTOBER people!!! OCTOBER. Not supposed to be hotter than an August noon. Therefore, the people running the race were not prepared w/ enough electrolyte giving drinks at closer stops along the race route and the runners themselves were not able to prepare properly for the heat either with their own water and sports drinks.

Reason five: Runners feel the pain, but most who train for a marathon have trained for months and months--this has been their goal and many runners look forward to a marathon with the same anxious hope that people look forward to their wedding day. So, they have run some pretty tough training days and they will absolutely run through anything the BIG DAY. This is not unique to the runner who died but a mental condition of all competitive runners. There but for the grace of a cool drink of water goes any runner.

Running in that type of record breaking heat and humidity is bound to end in tragedy. I don't blame the racers. I don't blame the organizers. Races are huge events. Stopping one is like stopping a train mid speed: it takes many officials, a mile or so of squealing, grinding breaks, and an extreme but unforeseen emergency. Neither do I blame the volunteers handing out water. Runners do not need nearly enough water on a typical October Saturday than they do on an August noon. No. I blame our increasing emissions of greenhouse gases and rising temperatures. The heat kills, not the running.

Maximus Pain

The first Saturday in October, as hot, as humid as the first Saturday of August on that fishing boat at our friend's wedding, and yet, it feels like those icy branches are gripping from the inside the outside of my left thigh--Yes, I've pulled my gluteus maximus. I went to Stony w/ Lou and Tony at the ripe time of 7:20 a.m. this morn. We were supposed to do 12 miles. I covered 12 miles, but didn't run them all. After it felt like the steel claw of a determined terminator gripped my left butt cheek, every time I tried to run, especially up hill, I yelped (and swore a few times) in pain and had to do some limp walking. So I ran a good seven and limp walked a good five.

I was doing so great the first six miles. Wow--how beautiful Stony is in the a.m. I looked to my right going over one of the bridges and the water looked like a pastel painting--glossy but w/ a bit of fog and muted oranges and reds spreading across the calm surface of the water. It was so transcending and I was listening to James Taylor: "I've seen fire and I've seen rain. I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end. I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend. But I always thought that I'd see you again." It's about one of his friends, Suzanne, who died in a plane crash. "You've got look down upon me Jesus, you got help me make amends. I can't make it any other way. My body's aching and my time is at hand. You've just got see me through another day. OOOH I've seen fire and I've seen rain." and I was now into the forest and the trees made a canopy above me and I was going up a hill, feet in closer arms pumping higher and at the top of the hill the trees gave way and I could see rays of the sun beaming down in streaks through the clouds--like prisms from God and I almost cried it was so beautiful and suddenly nothing but beauty matter, nothing but this flying feeling and God and the beauty that he makes for us and how he is there in everything around and in us. I realized I didn't need anything but this, this moment.
As you can see, the running high was kicking in. I felt high and dizzy at the same time. Holy humidity--when I looked down at my fingers they were so puffed up I thought I'd never get my rings off--they hurt they were so puffed. I poured some of my water on my face and when some fell into my mouth I tasted an ocean--so much salt. At mile four, I started to worry that I had edema and maybe that one sickness our coach told us about where you feel drunk because your brain is swelling from too much water and not enough electrolytes and salt.

I stopped my worrying brain by reminding myself that at the TNT water stop one of our runners said she had intense shin splits, real painful. When I told her maybe she should walk, she shook her head. "Too stubborn huh?" I said.
"Yeah," she grinned.
I knew what she meant (trail racing on a sprained ankle counts as stubborn too). So I dropped it.

Anyway, I shook of my growing fear of getting drunk on brain swell by remembering her stoicism. Runners are not wimps. So I turned the music up and flowed with it and tried to enjoy the humidity inspired dizziness--speeding down hills with longer strides and slowing my way up hills with shorter strides and higher arm position. Ken in my head directing me. "Let gravity pull you down" I felt my legs just revolve under me and leaned more to my toes. The left side of my left butt cheek started to ache--but it wasn't an intense pinching/gripping pain yet. It seared more up hills, so I slowed a bit and then made up for it down hills.

I got some food w/ salt in me at the 6 mile stop and stretched. Then off refreshed and running. For the first time, my legs failed me before my lungs and before my spirit. At mile seven they began to feel like unbendable stumps of wood-like rigermortous had set in and I would soon fall on my face while trying to move forward on unmovable legs. I had to stop and walk and walking felt more painful because I could feel even more how stiff my legs moved. I picked up the run again at a down hill and, just as a mother on her bike and a daughter in front of her on her legs trotted behind me, a sudden pain gripped my left thigh. I yelped loudly and the mother and daughter (whom I didn't hear because of my blaring I-pod) past me as I limped to a walk and then "shit!" slipped from my mouth before I saw the young, startled girl pass me on the left.

From then on I walked and jogged in intervals of a quarter mile, each quarter run more painful, until I saw Tony running toward me. "Oh. This is what I have been dreading. Oh, I am so embarrassed," I said to myself as soon as I saw his blue singlet. I thought I was so slow he had run to find me to see if I had fallen into a ditch. But when he yelled out "Can you see the mile marker? Point it out!" I realized he was on his last four miles--two out and back to make 14 miles. When he reached me, I told him about my pain and he asked if I needed help getting back-if he should stay w/ me or get a car. I said no, I'll walk back. I walked the rest of the way in, slower with each step. It hurt to walk even--and especially up hills. I walked fast on the down and slow on the up. I didn't stop at stop signs--I was in so much pain I felt like a dumb beast and didn't care if a car hit me.

When I got to the 12 mile mark, Lou, Jim, Lisa, and Tony were waiting. As I got within a few feet of the TNT flag, Jim rang the cowbell for the second time and despite my pain it made me grin. I was done! I had promised him that he would ring the cowbell twice for me: once at the 6 mile mark and again at the 12.

On the car ride home, Lou told me that I was limping in so slowly that as soon as they saw me, Lisa told him to ring the bell. Tony retorted that he would be ringing it for ten minutes with how slow I was going. Jim, ever proud of his bell skills, said, "I know when to ring it!!" and he did ring it at the perfect time.

When I got home I took an ice bath and it actually felt good--my left thigh doesn't hurt as badly.

I will run a very slow and careful three miles tom at 7 a.m. with Tonya from TNT.

Totals for this week:
Sunday: 6
Thursday: 5
Saturday: 12 (w/ only 7 ran)
Total: 23 covered (18 ran)

Map my run runs

Okay-- so here's one of the joys in my life-- my niece Grace-- on her 4th birthday last Saturday. I got to see her after my long run and that pained smile makes me wonder if I still smelled despite my quick shower.


So this is the route I did tonight. I think I need to keep better track of my training--I've been slipping.

So last week:
Last Saturday: 10 miles (hurt ankle so limped the last of those miles)
Tuesday: speed training-- two laps warm up, 6 laps surge 6 laps jog-- half mile (2 laps) recover (about 4 miles total)-- surge at 9 minutes per mile and jog from 11-13. Had to stop cause went out to fast w/ Lou and Haley.
Wed: break
Thursday: TNR Run-- a bit late and had my i-pod all set up-- my TNR buddies were laughing when I walked up to stretch with them. "Have any Rubens?" Anika asked when I came up. Ah, news spreads fast. There was a rather confusing new route someone came up w/ and since I had to get my Garmen set up I fell behind, esp. at Woodward--so I did my own route- at times just running around neighborhoods in circles to get up the mileage when I realized I was getting to the Farmer's Market too soon. total miles: 5
Total Week's Miles: 19

This week so far:
Saturday: supposed to do 10 at race (near the Martian Marathon) overslept a bit and left phone in car so I didn't hear Lou calling me before 7 to get me up--he was going to pick me up but I didn't tumble out of bed and find my phone until he was halfway to the race. I put on my running clothes anyway to race in my car to the race--pulled on my armor like sports bra, my running shorts and singlet, my ankle brace, my double socks to prevent blisters, my Garmen, and even my I-Pod. Walked into the bedroom to say goodbye to Mark--and promptly crawled back into bed w/ him.

I woke up four hours later still in my running gear. HA! so all dressed up and no where I ran to. I did change, shower, and get my nails done, though. So at least I left the house.
Total miles: 0
Nails polished: 20 (had pedicure too)

Sunday: did the above map my run (wanted to 10 miles but my Garmen ran out of battery after 3 miles so I just sort of ran around where ever, remembering the streets so I would be able to "map my run". Only made it to 6 miles (this included a few stretch stops and one stop at a gas station to refuel my water in their nasty bathroom).

The Return of the Stitch

September 21, 2007.

Adam (a new reporter at the Scriptor) took a photo of Austyn and I at the computer in newspaper class today for a TNT video project. It's great having Austyn back in newspaper--victorious over her cancer. She is now one of our opinion editors and working on an article about the student trip to France this past summer.

She has always been athletic and probably already learned what I did yesterday just before my training run: before I was defeated by a Ruben sandwich.

I learned a few weeks ago not to gulp down a mint chocolate mud frosty and then gorge on 15 Chicken McNuggets slathered in sweet and sour sauce an hour or two before a long run.

I should have globalized that lesson.

Last night was our weekly, team TNR (Thursday Night Run--but sounds oh so official as an acronym).

This mixed group of ability runners includes those who run a 6-7 minute 10K, a 7-9 minute 10K, and then me- you might call me the anchor, the one who gets lost at the end of the pack, the slowest runner. It's cool though because everyone is so nice-- Lou esp. who ran with me my first few times out and even dragged me pouting, sweating, and seething in anger off of various lawns when I refused to run anymore the first few weeks I ever ran. On days we go out afterward, they wait for me at the Farmer's Market. They usually they only have to wait ten or so minutes, and they don't make fun of me too much for being so slow at this early point in my running journey.

Today, though, well today, was just plain embarrassing.

Pre-run drink: gulped down organic pineapple juice from Trader Joes 30 to 20 minutes before the run. I actually thought all that sugar would be great glycogen fuel for my legs
Pre-run meal: greasy Ruben and cheese sandwich with hot sauerkraut in buttery pita bread.
Eaten fifteen minutes before my planned 6-8 mile run with my team.

Showed up at Farmer's Market to stretch w/ the team and we all chatted runner chat-- breaking in new shoes, merits of Brooks vs other shoes, road vs trail, how to get your Garmin to find a satellite faster (Lou doesn't believe me that holding it up toward the sky and away from buildings helps-- Mark also thinks this is ridiculous and says I look like I am ET trying to phone home with my running watch). What we planned to run this Saturday and what we planned to run on Thursday nights as the Saturday runs got longer, etc. Anyway, I felt like a seasoned runner with seasoned runner obsessions, interests, concerns.

My teammates noted all my electronic paraphernalia as we started out: my beeping Garmin (to tell me I was running too slow) my I-Pod, my high tech attached to the arm water bottle, my no glare sunglasses. I laughed and said "Beem me up Scotty!" and right then the Garmin beeped again--we were running and laughing and I barely noticed how fast we were going .

HA!!! very soon all I had was the fight between my lungs and legs to keep me company--oh and my up-chucked Ruben.

I started out too fast: a 6.5 minute pace--ouch, ouch, ouch-- I just wanted to be able to talk w/ people as I ran. Well, I changed that goal after just .10 of a mile and realized it was either slow down or fling myself onto the nearest lawn. So I slowed to a more comfortable 9.5-10 minute pace--ah, felt good, turned on my I-Pod and enjoyed a little "Walking on Sunshine--Oh Yeah! and don't it feel good!!"

Only about a mile into the run, my breathing got crazy labored and it started to feel like a small balloon was being inflated in my esophagus. My legs were doing fine though, actually my legs really enjoyed the forward momentum and wanted to go faster. My lungs puffed out and crawled up into my mouth and begged me to stop.

What the heck is going on? I just ran an easy five miles on Tuesday after my 10 K on Sunday-- easy, fun, runner's high inducing 5 miles. Why am I choking after only one mile??? My legs told my lungs to suck it up and keep going, so I listened to them and did. By 1.6 miles, the cramp that had also began with my choking feeling got worse. It started to feel like a very angry Ed Ghein was performing indelicate surgery with a butcher knife through my stomach wall and into my intestines. My stomach not only cramped, it burned and twisted and I had to stop and walk. From then on, it was walk a little, run a little, walk a little w/ arms above my head, walk a little. I took a different path at this point than my team (couldn't even see em at this point anyway) and decided to cut my rout and make it just a 4-miler. My legs really started to feel good and I ran another mile: my legs and lungs and gut fighting it out the whole way. Legs: "This is fun!! This is what we love! I'm flyingj!!!" My gut: "If you don't stop I'm going to get ripped in half or puke on you." Legs: "Whatever, get over yourself. Wimp. The feeling will pass." Lungs: (in a hoarse and faint whisper) "I ccccan't bbbreath, please stop".
Stupid me, I listened to the legs.
Next thing I knew about 2.6 miles, up came the evil Rubin and his evil side kick Sauerkraut. You know how sometimes throw up tastes like the food itself? Well I learned that a digested Ruben tastes just like you image eating a bowl of throw up would. I didn't want to throw up Ruben on my white running shirt, so I swallowed that now digested Ruben back down. Oh that acid burn. I will never, and I mean never, be able to eat neither a Ruben sandwich nor sauerkraut again. Actually, just writing about it is making me a bit queasy. Especially because I kept listening to legs, even after that, and kept letting them revolve almost mindlessly underneath me-- quite unsympathetic to what my gastro-intestinal system just endured.

Well, Ruben and Sauerkraut came back at mile 4 again and this time with a vengeance that didn't let me swallow them back down. I doubled over and puked off of 11 mile road, just blocks before my return to the Farmers Market. I gulped down a ton of water and it helped some. That was it. No more listening to legs. I walked briskly to the start-- none of my teammates were there. I had only run/walked 4 miles while they did 6-- I had either gotten there before them or so far after them that they were already home, showered, and probably asleep by the time I finished. I stretched a bit, but I didn't hang round too long. I didn't want to answer questions about where I had gone off to during the run.

So, learning time:
NO FOOD. NONE!!! Within one to two hours before running (esp. not greasy, heavy food)
DO NOT START TOO FAST--even if I do want the company of more elite runners. It's just not worth it!
IF SOMETHING IS REALLY GOING WRONG ON A RUN DON'T LISTEN TO LEGS!!! Listen to lungs and slow down.

Coach Randy writes: "We all have bad runs. After a bad run, just tell yourself 'I've logged in my bad run. I'm glad I can check that off my list.'"

OH yeah, I'm checking that one off my list alright.

Tomorrow is my 9 mile in Royal Oak-- no food, just lots and lots of water pre-run (and no fancy organic juice either) I'm also going to will myself to actually start out SLOWER than my normal pace!

10K Zoo Angel

Sept. 16, 2007

Just finished the Detroit Zoo race. Mark's nephews, Evan and Nathaniel above, came to watch me race and explore the zoo after. This is a rare moment of them being sweet to each other-- might actually have been a shameless ploy to get me to take a picture of them.

Right now, I'm taking Lou's advice, Lou's hugely painful advice, and giving my swollen, re-injured ankle a post race ice bath in a white bucket. It feels like a thousand Lilliputians with fire arrows sending a million salvos into my heel, toes, and top foot.

I ran my best 10K to date! this morning! Thanks to the running angel to my left in the other photo. He seemed to know many people along the way, kept saying "hi" to people watching from their lawns.

It's so odd how hard the first mile or so of a race is before you get into your stride. I saw a fellow runner from TNT just before the race started--He called out to me and I ran over to give him a hug; it was so nice to see a familiar face. Then I looked around and realized he was near the mid front of the group-oh no, not falling into that trap again. But I did-- I started out w/ him even though he runs twice as fast as me. So I did what coach Ken preaches never to do: I ran out too fast, much faster than my fastest pace (by the Garmin that was 6.34 minute mile--ouch) I slowed and slowed to 9, then 10, then 11 and kept a pretty comfortable pace at 11. I was still suffering from my first mistake around mile 3, when I ripped off the gel safety pined to my shorts and held it, ready to squeeze it down w/ the next water. At that moment, this Latino looking guy said something to me-- my I-Pod was blaring so I didn't hear him, but I clearly made out "BEAUTIFUL" and thought-- "oh jeez, you've got to be kidding me-- it's all I can do to keep one leg before the other and now some yahoo is hitting on me during a 10k race" Well, what an ego I have! I found out after he kept getting my attention and I was running past Joanna's house on one side and the golf course on the other that he was talking about how BEAUTIFUL the golf course was!! Then he kept looking back to check me and my pace. He motioned me up and said "You are my pace so don't slow me down, get up here." So I laughed and turned off my music, picked up my pace, and mused with him about the beautiful houses and trees. He noticed my breathing get really labored at this pace (10 minute) and he said "Imagine something beautiful, something full of energy and take yourself there." I thought about it, and I imagined the creeks that Mark and I go to up north, the ones with such a strong pulling current that you have to struggle up stream and then fly on the current downstream. "Water!" I said "Rapids". "Good" he said. "Now your breathing. Listen to it. Make it very quiet and listen to it. Stay on the rapids and listen to your breath."

My lord! It worked. I imagined myself floating fast down those rapids and made my breath quiet.
"You can run forever this way" he said.

He was right! When the pain got a bit too much and breath got all out of control again, I imagined myself cantering on a chestnut horse through a beautiful forest--real controlled speed, and I leaned forward and pumped my arms straighter and my strides longer and I started to get ahead of Zoo Angel (or he let me get ahead). I saw my split at mile 4 and couldn't believe it was only 43 minutes! I was going to make it in just over hour! The last 10K up north I did in an hour and 17 minutes and the one before that in Dearborn 1 hour and 35 minutes! (sad I know). After the five mile mark, when we had only half a mile by my Garmin, I told him and he said you take the lead--made me get in front of him and at only a quarter mile left I felt the surge, the effortless surge, put my I-Pod back to blaring and finished in an hour and six minutes!!! My best yet-- I wanted to thank Zoo Angel, but I had double and tripled tied my timing chip onto my shoelaces and it took me nearly two minutes to get it off and drop it in the chute bucket. By that time, Zoo Angel was gone.

Some truly funny stuff that happened during this race:
Every time we passed a race volunteer they clapped and cheered for us--really, even though you don't know them, I swear it gives your legs energy. Well, I didn't time my spit to well during one of these bends where the volunteers directed, and just as I spit she clapped. I turned to Zoo Angel and said "She just cheered on my spit!" After that, every time I spit, ZA clapped for me.

Also, when I announced by my Garmin that we had less than a mile left. ZA said we had to sing something--He asked if I knew any Jewish songs-- "No sorry" so we ran in silence-- all I could think was "I once was lost but now am found . . ." but didn't think that would be a cool song for him to sing (a Spanish looking Jewish man-- very odd) so I suddenly bust out "She'll be comin round the mountain when she comes" and he responded "She'll be comin round the mountain when she comes" She'll be coming round the mountain, she'll be comin round the mountain, she'll be comin round the mountain when she comes. "She'll be riding six white horses when she comes" Zoo Angel "Oh, she'll be riding six white horses when she comes"-- People were looking at us like we were crazy. When we got closer, we stopped singing and he said "Okay. let's just run-- you lead the way" and so we did and I did and I pumped out the last few yards with Radar Love blasting and I saw Mark, Caroline, and my two nephews cheering me on just before the finish. I see now in the photo that, at that point, my ZA was just next to me--grinning.

This video below shows my "blue butterfly" in take off. A host of butterflies of all colors swoop around the Detroit Zoo Butterfly Exhibit, and they land on various flowers, plants, stone water fountains, but this blue one zoomed erratically: was the most beautiful and the most hard to photograph. I literally chased it around, dodging in and out of families, trying to get its picture. Finally realized I was going to have to stalk it w/ strategy rather than dumb speed. I waited until it landed, closed those brown mottled wings (which hid the azure inside) and then I turned on my camera to video and waited, and waited, on until it fluttered off the rock.

non run journal

Looks like my dog Flappy but doesn't look at all like the inside of my car.

Okay, so the packet I got from TNT that was written by coach Randy, owner of Running Fit, says that runners should log in "non-runs". In other words, journal on days that they are supposed to run and don't. "Looking at all those skipped days will get you out the door."

Well, here it is: was supposed to run today, didn't. Was supposed to run Tuesday. Didn't. Sunday. Didn't. Was supposed to run a long run (6 miles) on Saturday and . . . didn't.


Wow, I feel so much better.

I am going to run tom for three easy miles cause I'm supposed to do my long run as a 7 miler. Ouch and I just celebrated breaking the 3 mile barrier.

Me to Lou before my first 10K race, after I nearly passed out from my first five mile run w/ him:
"Does it count as five miles if you don't actually run half the time?"
Lou: "If you're not riding in the car, it counts."
Okay, going to keep that in mind on my long run this weekend.

broke 3 miles with body guard dog!

Brought my own body guard: Robbie, my Rott/Doberman mix. I was not afraid tonight even when I ran past an empty parking lot and some scowling, fifty something, ragged looking, smoking (of course) guy gaped at me.

I usually get annoyed when people shrink from Robbie because it's such a case of judging the book by the cover. His favorite sport is cuddling and watching TV, not rabidly ripping apart the mail lady (who refuses to deliver our mail even if Robbie is outside with us). At 95 pounds, though, and with a clear Doberman body and Rott heft, I must admit he is a bit intimidating.

I had to run after 9 p.m. tonight, when I got home from work, and I really wanted to run further than three miles, but that meant going farther a field and even past some scary-at-night long stretches of dark, empty construction sites. Well, as I tugged on my road shoes, Robbie wagged his tail so hard he banged out a rhythm against the closet and bashed his nose into my leg. "Oh, sweety, you want to go for a walk." It hit me! Take him running w/ me! Why had I not thought of this before? This is not a dog most people make cooing noises and try to pet. Some people glance at him and scowl at me for my audacity at letting this beast out in public, or, especially if they are walking with children, perform a sudden, quick hop to the other side of the sidewalk, kids clutched to their sides, to avoid him.

I had never run w/ Robbie before and I worried he might not be as well behaved as Flappy--- but he was AWESOME! He stayed right by me and even agily weaved with me in and out of smoking obstacles in leather, studded jackets sauntering down the side walks of Main. He even kindly moved closer to my left leg when we ran by anyone.

Only problem: that dog is not as in shape as his muscles would imply. He ran about half a foot behind me and I had to keep yanking on the leash or saying his name to get him into my peripheral vision. His tongue nearly dragged behind him and he panted the entire run. This is not an old dog and he should not be so out of shape. It did make running with him a bit like trying to drag a wheeled cart full of mud at the same time.

Stats: My Garmin was not charged so these are not as specific

Distance: 4.07 (thank you "map my run")
stops: two-- one short one to stretch, one longer half block one to catch my breath
Smoky smelling houses: too many to count-- I just don't get how houses can actually smell like smoke--whenever I run by one and it's just overpowering I always look for someone on the porch smoking and there isn't anyone--I think one time I'm just going to walk four miles and really investigate this house smoke smell. Thing I hate: after passing a few of these I can really feel the slow down and my lungs fill w/ sludge. Ugggh. My civil libertarian sensibilities fight with my desire to breath in no Co2 and just let big ol' brother outlaw smoking all together.
Dog drag: 95 pounds
Beautiful, starry night-- loved stretching afterwards, especially when I was in triangle pose and lifted my head and arms up-- just amazing sight and it felt like my body was flying into it-- yes, that is a runner's high talking. Nothing like it.

Pace: again I tried the fall into the run near my toes stride--it is faster. I also did alot of inner association (and some disassociation--at one time I actually reached a perfect yoga state of mind and was not thinking at all-- then I realized I was doing that and began a whole lot of analyzing how I did it and what it meant and if I was conscious how I could really be thinking nothing--which is also a form of inner dissociation--just not as complete). What worked the best tonight as far as pace, comfort, mood: imagining I was in a race and certain landmarks ahead were the finish line-- often the end of a block or a traffic light. It's weird but that mindset made me surge forward w/out much effort or pain. It felt good. At one point, I even realized the slight tension in my legs and chest felt good. Felt like life.

pace: no idea--- again, no Garmen. But I feel like, at points, it was faster than my recent, and very sad, 11 minute miles. I did have to practically drag my very large, teenage-in-dog-years Dob most of the way.

I'm excited now for the zoo 10K in two sat.

The night's run ended perfectly with a stop at the mailbox to find that three very, very generous people donated to the Leukemia/Lymphoma society. It really added more joy to my run. One of my colleagues was just diagnosed with Meyloma and I think about her along w/ my beautiful, brave, gloriously alive newspaper student who just won her first round against non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. I visualize both of them now when I get to a sinister hill ,and I want to stop. It helps. Both of them have a bravery I hope I never have to find within myself.

A family friend sent me a note the other day that his dad died in 1973 (the year I was born) of Leukemia. This note came with an astoundingly generous donation to the TNT Leukemia/Lymphoma society. I guess you never know who has been impacted by these cancers. I look at smiling, bright Austyn, now back in my newspaper class, and I have hope.